I was left thinking a lot of stuff on Monday. From those thoughts "Patience" suddenly popped into my mind. Not sure why? My Mum always used to say to me that patience was a virtue. I never quite got the grasp of that, but my very young self took it to mean something that had to be achieved at all costs. So as the years went by I developed "patience" and pride myself on being able to stand at the end of a very long que without getting irritated! Amongst other things!
So why then do I get so impatient with myself? If I can exercise patience with others and situations, why can't I be patient with me? Why do I get quite irritated when I can't be the person I would like to be or do the stuff I would really like to do? The definition of Patience is the ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed: No I can't wait I've waited too long I want to be that person now! I've been trying to recover from my mental health issues for some time, I just can't deal with it anymore. I ruminate about stuff, going over and over it in my mind then complaining and getting cross with myself. So no patience there then! No wonder it affects my mood and why I start to feel quite low!
Just imagine saying those things, that I say to myself, to a friend. How would they feel?
Over the past months group meetings we have been talking about The 12 Steps to Happiness and one of the steps is having a "purpose" in life. As I spoke about on Monday my perhaps is myself, but not in a selfish or self centred way, but by developing and educating myself to enhance my wellbeing. So perhaps I could start to be more patient with myself too, see where it takes me. I know I can do it. Just got to give it a go!
Just to mention what a lovely walk I had with our YourSpacers at Kempley. The Daffodils where lovely and being in the fresh air really made a difference. Thank you for your company. I hope to organise a Bluebell Walk soon so watch this space.
Hope the Easter Holidays are good to you!
Ruth D :-)